Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween!!!

Happy Halloween to everyone who reads this. May your pillowcases be filled with the sweetest of treats, and much ghoulish delights!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

My Night Part 3

After finishing my meal, which I do while I'm on the expressway, I turn on the heat, and turn up the radio and start singing along. That's when I run right into what has to be the thickest wall of fog I have ever seen. It was so thick that I literally couldn't see even 3 feet in front of me. All the signs on the Snyder were invisible until you were directly on them. I had to use the road lines as beacons so I could stay on the road. It cleared away right before I got off of the expressway and it was smooth sailing again....or was it?

Right after I got off the expressway, I ran into another wall of all consuming fog, and had about the same level of visibility as before. This lasted until right about the time I got to my street. The only thing I could see in front of me were a little of the road lines, and then the glowing traffic lights, which through the fog, looked like green, red, and yellow eyes of hideous demons waiting to devour any who crossed their paths.

I get home, and go inside, and turn a movie on, and start writing here my entries while they are extremely fresh on the mind. Hope everyone enjoyed this, as I know I really did enjoy writing it.

My Night Part 2

So I'm in the truck, and I stop at McD's, and I pull through the line, and they tell me they aren't serving because their system is down. Luckily, I know the area well, and I know that maybe a little over 2 miles up the road is another that's always open, so I go there.

I pull in the drive thru line, and I was the sixth car in the line. I'll go now to say that I don't know what the hell they were doing inside, but working with a quickness wasn't it.

I literally waited in the line at McD's for 30 minutes after I placed my order. During lunch or something, I may be able to understand this, but not at 4 in the morning. So I sit and wait, because the calling of the soda is strong, and I really want one, and anyone who knows sodology knows that theres something very special about a McD's soda.

What I actually had ordered was 2 things. I ordered a large soda, and a sausage McGriddle. Not something hard to comprehend in my book, but alas, they weren't reading from my book.

I get to the window, finally, and it took the cashier 5 minutes just to open it to take my money. I handed her the money and she took it with much attitude. I figure she was having a bad night, but thats no excuse to bring it to work.

She hands me my soda, and my food, and I thank her, as I do to all who wait on me. This produced a look of confusion in her eyes, and I knew she didn't comprehend the meaning of the words thank you. No big deal this time though, although that is a serious peeve of mine. I hate ungrateful cashiers, but thats a post for another time.

I drive away from the winndow, and like every fast food customer who's on the go, I start digging into the bag while I'm driving. The first thing I feel is a hash Brown, and I start thinking that maybe they put it in because everything took so long. I took the hash brown out and ate it. Then I reach into the bag to get the second reason I even go to McD's. However, I did not feel the familiar texture that a sausage McGriddle felt more like a biscuit.

I take it out and sure enough, it was a sausage biscuit. I piss and moan to myself for about 30 seconds, then I think what the hell, I'll eat it anyway. So I did.

I guess I should be appreciative that she even got the sausage part right.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't mad. After the time I had at the bar for the hour I was there, I won't be able to get mad until well into next week. However, I was a bit annoyed that my order wasn't right, especially after all the waiting.

The food was a hell of a lot better than the service, and it kind of resembled what I had ordered....

My Night Part 1

I wanted to make this one a multi part post, only because the mood changes dramatically in the matter of a few moments.

I didn't go out at all tonight, or even open my door. I had a few phone calls, and surfed the web a lot. So far, normal day for me.

At around 2AM, I decided to go to a bar, because I was sure to be able to interact with some people there.

I get myself up to the bar, and I walk in the door, and no sooner than I wave hi to the DJ, I'm already having my first dance. Not bad for only being there a minute. Then I get me a drink, and go to a table with some people I know. I then end up dancing to every song they play, slow song or not. I may as well just have stayed out on the dance floor, and I wouldn't have been less happier than I was. I felt kind of bad for not paying attention to the other two friends up there as much as I should have, but I guess you could say I got lost in the moment. If you are either of the two, and you end up reading this, I apologize for not giving as much attention as I would have liked, but you know how it goes with me ;)

Then we go to the parking lot, and talk for a few minutes before they all leave. On a side note, it looks like the bar was having a Halloween costume party, and my people were all witches. I have to say 3 of the sexiest witches I've ever seen....ROWR!!!

Then I got in my truck, and left for home...but first, I wanted to stop and get a soda, and some breakfast.....


Sometimes I just don't get guys at all. I am one, but I guess you could say I don't fit in the mold like others.

The thing that gets me thinking about this is that I was at a bar tonight, and after the bar closed, I was talking with some people in the parking lot. The only cars left in the parking oot were mine, the people I was talking to, the bar staff, and these redneck guys.

The guys started their car, and started revving the engine as loud as they could. Why? I have no idea, as there wasn't anyone paying attention to them, so they had nobody to impress. The only reason I noticed them is because the revving of their engine was so loud that I couldn't hear the conversation I was having with the other people.

Which is why I don't get guys who do things like that. If there was anyone to impress there, I would probably not have noticed, but they didn't really have any kind of audience.

Bottom line to me is that guys who use too much machismo are just really dumb, and make themselves look like complete assholes.

Ok, that's all for now....I gotta go outside and rev my engine for the neighbors for

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Death Tunnel!!

There's a movie coming out soon that I cannot wait to see. It's called Death Tunnel, and it's basically about an initiation of 5 girls who have to spend 5 hours in our vcery own Waverly Hills Sanitorium. I watched the trailer and about blew a load all i my pants. I have *got* to see this movie. I'm putting pics of the movie posters here, and a link to the website so that the trailer can be watched by all.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Take My Quiz

I have made a small online quiz about me. See how much you know about me when you take it, if you decide to take it. Be warned though, it does have a bit of sexuality and some language in it.


Today went so well for me until I decided to leave the house. I swear I must have gotten stuck behind every old, backwards ass person in this state. Everyone wanted to drive slow, and I had some places to be, so I was in a hurry. This , unfortunately, has put me in a state of road rage I cannot shake right now. I swear I just wanna hit something as hard as I can, and those slow ass bastards on the roads have actually put me in a bad mood today.

Normally, I can shake this type of thing, but for some reason, I find myself not wanting to just yet, and I'm not sure why. I shouldn't be mad at those senior citizens who are only obeying the law, not letting me speed, but dammit, my foot is made of metal today, and I gotta go go go.

Perhaps instead of being in such a hurry next time, maybe I should leave a bit earlier and not have to worry about being somewhere late or on time.

Who am I kidding...I know me, and I'll have rage again because of the same things. I'm just dumb like that ;)

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Annabel Lee

Here's one that I've liked for quite some time now. Yet another morbid, yet romantic poem. I think this one also describes love in a way that most people wish they could comprehend it, but just can't handle the thought of being alone. Hope you enjoy this one as well.

Annabel Lee

by Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may knowBy the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

The Highwayman

This is a tragic poem I found that has captivated me. I don't know why, but I love morbid romantic stuff. Hopefully you'll enjoy it too.

I felt pretty moved when I read it, as it's everything a true love should be.

The Highwayman


Alfred Noyes

THE wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
And the highwayman came riding—
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.

He'd a French cocked-hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin,
A coat of the claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin;
They fitted with never a wrinkle: his boots were up to the thigh!
And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,
His pistol butts a-twinkle,
His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.

Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard,
And he tapped with his whip on the shuters, but all was locked and barred;
He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

And dark in the dark old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked
Where Tim the ostler listened; his face was white and peaked;
His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,
But he loved the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's red-lipped daughter,
Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say—

"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize to-night,
But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
Then look for me by moonlight,
Watch for me by moonlight,
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."

He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand,
But she loosened her hair i' the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(Oh, sweet, black waves in the moonlight!)
Then he tugged at his rein in the moonliglt, and galloped away to the West.


He did not come in the dawning; he did not come at noon;
And out o' the tawny sunset, before the rise o' the moon,
When the road was a gypsy's ribbon, looping the purple moor,
A red-coat troop came marching—
King George's men came matching, up to the old inn-door.

They said no word to the landlord, they drank his ale instead,
But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed;
Two of them knelt at her casement, with muskets at their side!
There was death at every window;
And hell at one dark window;
For Bess could see, through her casement, the road that he would ride.

They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest;
They had bound a musket beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!
"Now, keep good watch!" and they kissed her.
She heard the dead man say—
Look for me by moonlight;
Watch for me by moonlight;
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!

She twisted her hands behind her; but all the knots held good!
She writhed her hands till her fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
They stretched and strained in the darkness, and the hours crawled by like years,
Till, now, on the stroke of midnight,
Cold, on the stroke of midnight,
The tip of one finger touched it! The trigger at least was hers!

The tip of one finger touched it; she strove no more for the rest!
Up, she stood up to attention, with the barrel beneath her breast,
She would not risk their hearing; she would not strive again;
For the road lay bare in the moonlight;
Blank and bare in the moonlight;
And the blood of her veins in the moonlight throbbed to her love's refrain .

Tlot-tlot; tlot-tlot! Had they heard it? The horse-hoofs ringing clear;
Tlot-tlot, tlot-tlot, in the distance? Were they deaf that they did not hear?
Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
The highwayman came riding,
Riding, riding!
The red-coats looked to their priming! She stood up, straight and still!

Tlot-tlot, in the frosty silence! Tlot-tlot, in the echoing night!
Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!
Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,
Then her finger moved in the moonlight,
Her musket shattered the moonlight,
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him—with her death.

He turned; he spurred to the West; he did not know who stood
Bowed, with her head o'er the musket, drenched with her own red blood!
Not till the dawn he heard it, his face grew grey to hear
How Bess, the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.

Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,
With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!
Blood-red were his spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
When they shot him down on the highway,
Down like a dog on the highway,
And he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.

* * * * * *
And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding—
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.

Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard;
He taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred;
He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Women and Romance

It never ceases to amaze me how women continue to surprise me. I have to say before I start this post that I am not stereotyping "all" women, because I know that there are those out there not like I'm about to describe, and you 4 know who you

This is for the rest of them.

Women. Everytime I hear the word, I think of a type of person who wants romance, and who wants to be romanced. Apparently, I am wrong. Or am I?

It seems that most women do want romance, but only under a couple of conditions, some of which I can understand. First, I think most women are looking for that total package in a guy, so much so that they forget that it's what's inside that matters most. Second, some really don't want romance.

I've talked till I'm blue in the face about the first kind, so I'll skip them. I know too many women who are just too dumb to see what really matters, and I know you know some too.

The ones who don't want romance are the ones that get to me. These are the kind that will complain endlessly that they aren't getting the romance they need, but will be the first ones to be "grossed out" when they see someone else getting the romance.

My theory on this is quite simple. I think that either those women who want to "barf" when they see romance don't really like romance, and have no desire of being romanced, or they are jealous of the other person getting the romance. I tend to think that the second one rings true, as I've seen many women do the whole "getting sick" thing, but then turn around and expect everyone to marvel at them when they get a little romance.

I'm open to suggestions if I'm wrong, but experience dictates that I'm not on this subject. Plain and simple, women who aren't getting romanced are jealous of the ones who are, so much to the point that every time they see it and are not getting it, they feel the need to try and berate the person getting it by "getting sick".

Like I said, this isn't how all women are. I do know a few who are not like this, but the general concensus shows most to be this way.

I think the next time I hear someone "getting sick" because of some kind of romantic sentiments she sees, I'm gonna buy the woman some Pepto Bismol.

Arrogance vs. Ignorance

I learned a good lesson today. To be arrogant, in most cases, is the same as being ignorant.

I was speaking to someone today, and we were discussing arrogance and why it is sometimes the same as ignorant. If a person can sit and say that something of theirs is better, for whatever reason, than I would consider that person to be arrogant. Their ignorance depends on the validity of the comment they made. Say if I have a car, and I say mine is better because it is newer, then my ignorance is plainly showing because I have no basis for comparison. It's not like I've had a chance to drive the other car for an extended period of time, and get a feel for it. I only know how my car feels, and how much I like it, and "how" much I like it defines my loyalty to it.

Now I know to think about some things I say, especially if it would make me look arrogant, so as not to show my ignorance.

Monday, October 24, 2005

The One

Have you ever met that one person that you couldn't get off your mind? The one who you think about no matter what happens around you.

Have you ever met the person who can bring a smile to your face no matter how sad you are? Have you ever met the one that could make your heart melt with just one glance? Have you ever met the one you know you're supposed to be with, no matter what opposition is thrown your way?

I have, and it astounds me more every day. I actually wake up every day, and I can't believe how much more in love I am with her than I was the day before. I really don't know why either. I don't get to see her, or talk to her much at all, if any.

I do get to hear people tell me how crazy I am though. Crazy for waiting on something that may never happen, crazy for still loving as much as I did when we parted ways. Just plain crazy.

It got me to thinking, am I crazy, or do people call me crazy, because they cannot fathom the idea of what I'm doing? Granted, I actually *may* be crazy, but the doctors have yet to determine that.

Here's what gets me about it all. Isn't love supposed to be patient? Isn't love supposed to be unconditional? Would you wait for someone you *knew* deep in your heart you were suposed to be with, forsaking all others who may try to get in?

I think that most people would answer yes to the first 2 questions, but no to the last one. People say they don't understand how I could wait for something that may never be, but I can't understand why they wouldn't.

I know that deep inside, if I gave up, and went on to somoene else, I would be miserable, much more than I am now. I know I would hate myself more and more every day for not trying to hold out that much longer.

People need to understand the fact that while I am lonely, I choose to be that way, always that way, until the day comes where it may be possible to win her back. Will it ever happen? Probably not. The odds are definitely against me, but thats ok. If there's even the slightest chance, a sliver of a snowball in hell, I'll be there to see it. If it means I die alone, that's ok too.

As long as she knows I'll always be here for her, and there's never a time I won't want to be with her, then I'm comfortable with that, as long as she knows.

I know even as some people read this, the tempers may rise and they may be thinking about how stupid I am to be doing what I am doing. That may be the case, I may be stupid. However, love was never supposed to be smart. That's what the mind is for; to be smart and think.

My love for her will probably last until the day I die. If needed, that is how long I will wait for her to come back, if that ever becomes a possibility.

Chex Mix!!!

I am so addicted to Bold Party Blend Chex Mix. Someone I know has got me addicted to these things like they were crack.

Krogers is having a sale on bags of these, and the other day, I went and got 7 bags of them. Then today, on my way into work, I stopped and got 5 more bags. Someone please stop me from buying so much Chex Mix, as I am helpless and hopeless to stop myself.

Saying that, I'm gonna stop typing and go eat me some Chex!

Scary Movies

I love me some scary movies, especially around this time of year. It seems to be all I can watch on tv and dvd is my scary movies. I think I'm gonna hit my sister up for some of her scary dvd's. I've been wanting to watch Saw again very badly, so I'll definitely do what I can to get that one.


I hate migraines. They absolutely kill me, or make me wish I was dead. I was laid up all damn day Sunday with one. It was so bad that it hurt to open my eyes. It's gone now, but I can still feel the dull throb that tells me it can come back at any time, as it has done before.

Maybe I should buy myself a saw, and store it for next time, then cut off my head and put it in the freezer until the migraine goes away. Of course, if I did that, I'd only end up with one of those frozen headaches, and those are no fun either.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Halloween is Near!

Ah, my favortie holiday of the year, Halloween, is about to be here. A holiday that is nationally recognized but not celebrated like another holiday where we all get to dress up and go to parties and basically just let loose.

I think this year, like last year, I'll be going as a broke white guy just barely keeping his head above water. Or I could go as the killer from Scream again....I dunno.

Happy Halloween to all my people out there, even if you don't end up reading it here.

May the spirit of fun and scariness prevail in our otherwise dull lives :)

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Poor Guy

While I was at work tonight, I heard a strange noise upon the roof. I went to the window to investigate, and much to my assumption, it was raining. No big deal.

Rain happens all the time, but what I'm about to tell you doesn't.

I was walking back to my desk after confirming the rain, and as I passed a fellow tech, he asked quite innocently, "Is it raining?"

I told him that it was, and it was directly after that he dropped a bombshell of a question on me. It was a one word question that simply went like this...


I couldn't help myself and burst out in laughter, as this was the funniest thing I had ever heard.

This was truly one of those "Here's Your Sign"


For some unknown reason, I find that women who make those cat noises are sexy as hell. Maybe I'm crazy, but I love it. I think it stimulates something in my brain that just gets the imagination going strong.

Now I'm gonna keep this entry short for fear that I'll overexcite myself....if ya know what I ;)


Well, yesterday, I played the powerball and lost yet again. However, when I play powerball, I have big dreams on what to do with the money.

One thing I would do is to give some of it to charitable causes, like muscular sclerosis research and altzheimers research. I would also make sure my ex girlfriend and her 2 children were set for it love.

I would make sure my mom, stepfather, and both of my sisters had new houses built the way they would want them, and also some lakefront property for their boats. My parents and my sisters would live very comfortable lives if I had won.

I would build myself a palatial estate for me. I would have to have a large house, with a custom built gym, an arcade room, a 2 lane bowling alley, and a full sized theater complete with track lighting on the floor. I would also have to have plenty of garage space for my new cars. I would have to buy a Ferrarri, and of course my dream car, a Dodge Viper.

I would help my only other friend out any way I can, because he has been there for me whenever I really needed someone.

There are also others I would help out as well, although not as much as I would the people listed above.

Ah, to dream a little dream, about a lot of money, that's the life for me.

Now on to next week's Powerball drawing!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Too Much Time

I don't know why people say I have too much time on my hands. I work 40 hours a week just like anyone else does, and I like to enjoy my free time. Unlike most people, I'm a geek, so being on the computer, writing about my experiences helps me to relate to them, and also provides insight into who I am. I hope it entertains as well. People who have seen this have told me they think I have too much time on my hands, which led me to start thinking about what I would really do if I had too much time on my hands.

I would probably write some kind of cheesy blog about my thoughts and my experiences, where people could get to know me a bit better and hopefully be entertained as ;)

The Cookout

Sunday I went to a cookout at my sisters house. I had a pretty good time there, as it was all of my immediate family there, and a few people I didn't know. I got to play horseshoes....very badly I might add, and toss around a football. I also got to tackle my nephew, and bang up my knee in the process.

I think I overdid it a bit because I was feeling pretty bad by the end of the night. Of course, I wasn't completely recovered from Saturday night either.

Overall, with the exception of a few tiny things, I had a good time, and will have to do it again someday.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

"Down" With The Sickness

This would be the way I can describe the hell that was life tonight. I was literally down with the sickness, just when I thought I had it beat.

It happens like this...I get to work, feeling kinda nasty and still sick, but hey, I'm needing the money. I take some knockoff Wal-Tussin cough medicine with me, because even though I still feel sick, mainly the cough is the worst of the time.

I'll say right now that I've never been one for "recommended dosages", and that they normally never mean anything to me.

I drank the whole bottle of the cough syrup within a 2 hour period. The first thing I noticed was a bit of giddiness, and I knew something was amiss....but it felt need to worry just yet.

Next, I started sweating like a pig in an oven on easter. Then I start to lose my focus, meaning that I literally cannot see what's in front of me. It starts all jumbling together and moving around, which , of course, is when the inevitable motion sickness kicks in, and I start really feeling sick.

You know when you aren't feeling good, and that wave of nausea kicks in, every little movement seems to make you feel sick...this is what I had going on.

I went into "work" on the phone systems at that time, because I could not take another call....not yet. I went to get a drink of water from the fountain, hoping it would make me feel better, but it doesn't. I then go to the restroom to splash water on my face, and I see myself in the mirror, and I look pale. I haven't seen my face that white in a very long time.

I realize then that I will be sick....not maybe, not possibly...I know it will happen eventually, so I make my plans for an exit. I tell a supervisor that I'm not feeling good and I need to leave. He says ok, and that he needs am email letting him know what times I work and what time I left....not an easy thing to accomplish for someone who can't focus on anything.

I managed to wobble back to my desk, and even somehow managed to send the email and shut everything down and get out of the building alive.

I got into my truck and started heading home. I made it to the expressway between Fairdale and New Cut Rd, when I started to feel the inevitable, so I pulled over and stopped. After doing what I knew it was I had to do, I got back in the truck and just lay my head against the glass of the drivers side window, which was soothing in its own way.

Now, you'll remember I wrote about my focus being off. With me driving and not really being able to see that well in front of me, I knew I was in trouble. About a half an hour after I first stopped on the expressway, I started going again, only to need to pull over again after New Cut Rd.

I didn't get sick this time, but I couldn't get focused enough to keep driving. I lay my head against the glass and fell asleep for about a half an hour. Then I woke up and started going again, this time only stopping right after Stonestreet.

At Stonestreet, I slept again for another half an hour, and tried again making it home. The next time I stopped was on the Greenbelt, right around Greenwood Rd. I was mad because I was so close to being home, but just could not continue driving for fear of wrecking. I slept another half an hour there, then woke up and finally went home.

I left work tonight at 7:35, and got home at 10:00. I live 20 minutes away from work. You do the math.

When I got home, I came in, didn't turn on any lights, didn't remove any clothing, I just crashed. What's worse is that when I tried to lie down, I misjudged where I was in the dark and completely missed the bed, falling on the floor. After being on the floor for a couple of minutes, I decided that it really would be in my best interest to get in the bed, and so I did, clothes, shoes and everything still on.

I woke up some time later and I could still taste the metallic taste one has after getting sick, and a migraine from hell to boot. I got up and stumbled to the bathroom and got me some advils, took the recommended dosage and went back to bed.

I awoke again due to the phone ringing, and after talking awhile, decided to share this bit of information with anyone who may read here.

I still feel a bit dizzy, a bit groggy, and I still have a headache, but I do have most of my focus back. I'll be going back to bed here shortly, but I wanted to write this before any kind of details left my mind.

I know now, that I will always be following the recommended dosages for everything drug related, so as not have another incident like this. It was scary, and it cost me money in the end.

Tomorrow, I more than likely will laugh about, but for now,its back to bed I go, to finish healing up.

Saturday, October 15, 2005


I was browsing through some forums at work, and I came across a thread talking about a band called Beatallica. I went home and went to their website, where they had all their music for download. I downloaded the music and I have to say, I was pretty impressed.

These guys are kind of a cross between the Beatles and Metallica, which may seem weird at first, but its really cool. You should check them out may like them :)

I'm Here!

I don't really know if anyone will ever read or keep up on reading it, but I plan on keeping it up anyway. Seeing as how not many people at all comment, I'd wager to say that I'm talking to an invisible audience...which I've done before.

With that said, I'm still on. I didn't feel like updating or doing much yesterday, as I was still sick and just lounging in bed watching movies all day.

I didn't take my trip to Vicodin Land. Just didn't feel up to it when I got home, so I didn't do it.

Keep checking here, as I'll more than likely be updating today as thoughts I want to express come to me.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

I Don't Like The Drugs...But The Drugs Like Me.

With the arrival of this cold, flu, or whatever the hell I have, I have been under the influence of drugs constantly. I take a Robitussin knockoff (Wal-Tussin) for the runny nose, sore throat, and aching body symptoms.

But that isn't enough.

I feel like I've been beaten with an entire forest of trees and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight

So I've taken it to the next level. I figure that if I can get some good, quality rest that I can beat it better than a sleepless night with troubles breathing and aching. So I found a way to use my old drugs to my advantage.

Before I go on, I have to make you aware that I'm the type of guy that doesn't finish his meds. After my initial cure, I store the rest for a later date. Why throw them out when they could be useful later, right?

So, I'm looking for some kind of relief in my half used meds drawer when I come across an older prescription for some vicodins. I'm not a drug user by nature, and a lot of people I know would laugh and call me a lightweight, but I don't care. I don't really have a need for drugs as a recreational tool. I'm already way messed up without the drugs.

I've only had 3 different prescriptions for vicodins in my entire life. The first time I used them, I think I slept for 3 days. I vowed not to try them again. The second time, I didn't use one at all...I suffered through the pain I was going through because I didn't like what the pills did to me the first time. The last time I had a prescription, it was almost 2 months ago. I was given vicodins due to a tubing injury I suffered on Taylorsville Lake that caused me to tear 3 muscles in my rib cage. Harsh stuff indeed.

So I find these vicodins and I'm thinking that I'll try just about anything to take this aching away. I can deal with the sharp pains that a torn muscle will bring with no pills, but not the dull, consistent ache of the flu.

I took one of these beauties last night and was whisked away to Vicodin Land. By the time early morning had arrived, I was sleeping soundly, and my phone started ringing. I usually go through most days without many, if any, phone calls, and today my phone rang more than it has in 6 months. I answered every call, and I felt the sleepiness still in my head, but something more as well. I felt giddy. I felt like I was a little kid again, and I believe I acted the part. Everyone that talked to me while I was in Vicodin Land told me I was loopy, crazy, get the picture.

Now, like I said, I don't use these pills for recreation. However, I think the way I'm feeling now merits another trip to the amazingly nice Vicodin Land. I wonder what tomorrow will be like :)

Like I said...I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me!

Tech Support

Technical Support is a tricky thing to do. You have to talke to people all day long who cannot connect to the internet. Most of them are frustrated and know nothing about the operations of their equipment. Some of them think they know a lot, and they are equally frustrated because they can't figure out what's wrong, and they blame our equipment before checking their own most times.

With this stage set, you can see how it would be easy for a person in our positions to become frustrated with the customers. I myself only get frustrated, although the customer would never be able to tell, with the ones who need their hand held through every little click and movement on the pc. It amazes me how much inability to think before speaking really takes effect there.

For instance, you should know that if you unplug the power from a lamp, that the light will go out. Unless there is a miracle happening at that precise moment that you unplug the lamp, you *know* the light will go out. This isn't so with the case of some of my customers.

It frustrates me when a network engineer calls and can't get online, and swears he has done everything he could think of in order to get back online, then we unplug and plug back in his router, and the connection magically fixes itself.

Through all of this frustration going between both the customer and myself, I simply remember that I'm here to do a job, and part of my job involves being courteous and nice to the customer, no matter how dumb I really think they are. They never hear my level of frustration, as they shouldn't have to.

With that said, know that if you end up getting me in tech support, I will not belittle you or degrade you. I can explain things on the most elementary of levels, so much that I could make a chimp understand. I will treat you the way I would expect to be treated if I were in the same situation.

Thought for the day, I

Edited post because I forgot to add the word

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

My Family

Most people don't know how great a family they have until one of them is gone forever. I am one of the lucky people, as I know I have a great family, despite each of their individual flaws.

My mother is absolutely the best. Her and I have our differences about money, and especially about the money I owe her, but overall, she is one of the most giving people I know, and she constantly puts up with any shit I try to give her. Who could ask for a better mom than that?

I have 2 sisters, both younger than me. I never really knew how lucky I was to have them until we all moved out, and I didn't have to see them every day.

The oldest of the two definitely has middle child syndrome, but, I really wouldn't have her any other way. She is the mother of both my nephews, and they are the cutest little guys I ever saw...except the one who knows he She's way too into money, and it's by far way too important that she have so much of it that she loses part of her own life with it, but that's just how she was brought up. I think that she does the best she can as a mother, and even though she doesn't think I like her, I hope she knows I love her.

The youngest is an apple from a different tree. She has her own way about her, which used to bug me to death when we were living at home. However, she and I have gotten extremely close, and I hang out with her and her boyfriend all the time. She's what you might call spunky, but very judgemental as well. However, that judgemental quality doesn't interfere with her experiences. She lives with her boyfriend, and I think the both were made for each other. They both try to come off as hardasses sometimes, but both have extremely large hearts, and a lot of compassion for others who aren't faring so well. You could say that as far as giving goes, they give what they can. I can't tell how many times they've fed me, or invited me to go out with them to the lake, or over to talk and watch movies. I also can't tell you how many times I've needed that, and how much it meant to me to have those invitations when they came. I love my sisters more than anything in the world, and hope we can get closer to one another.

My stepdad is a character. He's pretty funny, and although we practically hated one another when I lived at home, I've grown to appreciate who he is and even like him. He treats my mom pretty good, and even though he has deep issues of his own that he keeps private, I still think of him as the closest thing I had to a father.

As for me....I can't really say I've been the best son/brother/stepson/uncle. I don't do near as much as I should for my family, and I truly feel bad because I don't. I don't know if I'll ever be able to change that and be the person they all know I should and can be, but I can say I'll try, because I love my family.

I'm Sick!

One thing I really hate about the arrival of fall is the damn diseases that seem to spread like mad.

I seem to have caught one of these maddening little scourges, and now I feel terrible.

So, with that said, three cheers to winter, and the endless diseases and colds it brings.....hurrah!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

The Rules of Life and Love

It is known that both life and love are not fair. You hear it everyday. Life isn't isn't fair.

Now, with this information in mind, why should I play the "game" of life by rules that are already against me. The answer in my case is....I don't.

I refuse to follow the traditional rules that everyone says I have to follow. Why should I?

If there's something I want, I work to get it, or to get it done. If it deals with matters of the heart, I follow my heart. This has gotten me into trouble before, but that's ok, as I don't regret anything I have done.

I've been told that playing by my rules isn't right, but who says it isn't right. I feel in my mind it's right, so therefore it is.

This means, especially in matters of the heart, that if I feel that connection with you, it doesn't matter if you're married, have a boyfriend, or even gay....I make my own rules, and I continue to play the game in a way that I have a better chance of winning.

With that said, what are the rules? Who made them up? Why should I follow them?

Irritating Phrases

So I was on the phone yesterday with a friend of mine, and we were talking when she told me to "want in one hand, shit in the other". Now this made me want to address something that really just bugs the hell out of me. Phrases that just don't make any damn sense.

We'll start with the one previously mentioned. Who in their right mind would even think about crapping in their own hand, while waiting for a gift in the other. It doesn't make sense to me, as I know I wouldn't be the one to do it. I fact, there's no way my hand is going anywhere near my ass while in the act. This is just me, but I'm not the kind of guy to carry my shit around with me, if you get my meaning.

Let's move on to another. "You can't have your cake and eat it too."

What the hell is this supposed to mean???

If I have some cake, you better damn well believe I'm going to eat it, and even more, I'm going to enjoy it. What kind of mentally challenged person came up with that? Was it someone's psychotic mother, torturing her child endlessly with the idea that there is cake to be had, but the child cannot partake in it?

Bottom line...if I have cake, I'm eating it....with clean, shit free hands. This I can guarantee :)

My Good Deed

I was on my way home from work tonight when I saw a car ahead of me, with his flashers on. At the time, I didn't realize his headlights didn't work, so I passed him up, not thinking anything about it. I then cast my glance to the rearview mirror, and I see he has no lights. Now anyone that has driven the Gene Snyder at night in between Stonestreet and Dixie, knows they have absolutely no street lights there. After a minute, this thought kicks in, so I slow to a crawl and let him catch up with me. Then I make sure we stay side by side until he exits on Dixie. Maybe he was in the car wondering what the hell I was doing, but maybe he knew. Maybe he saw the gesture that I was offering of helping light the way for him in that path of darkness, and I'd like to think he might even have been grateful.

I'd like to think, however, that I may have helped save a life by helping light the way for him. Take care out there guy, wherever you are.

One Good One

Ok...I had another urge to send a message to yet another woman on the mojo.

I wanted to know that I really liked her pictures. They were in black and white, and it really did something to make her blonde hair stand out. I was impressed with the way the pics were kind of artistic and told her so in the message. She responded back with a simple, but sufficient thank you.

My respect goes out to the good ones out there, and you all know who you are, amongst the ever growing fields of people who like to pretend that they're some of the good ones.

My Disclaimer

I figured at this time that I should put a disclaimer on this here. So here goes.

You may read this site, and more than likely be offended at something said or referred to. If this is the case, remember that everyone has an opinion, and is entitled to speak it freely.

With that being said, I do hope you enjoy the content here, and hopefully even comment on it so we may have some discussions.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Girls vs Women

Is there really any difference?

Neither one really knows what they want. I have an account on mojo, and usually, I sit and wait for people to contact me, and hope for some intelligent know, more than the typical "so what else are you into" type of thing. I have actually sent a message to two different girls on there, because the profiles they put up left me with questions about them, and in those profiles both had written to send questions if you had I did.

What I did not know, but get now, is that these particular women only want questions from good looking, tall, handsome guys. Not guys like me, who, in my mind, are of average looks, height, etc...

Neither one responded to my questions at all.....ever. Not a thanks but I don't wanna discuss it, not interested, or a fuck off....nothing.

Guess I didn't live up to their idea on who was suitable to answer a question for. Now this really don't bother me all that much. It's not like I was hitting on them, which I so blatantly described in the message to each one. Each one, in my mind, was mediocre anyway.

What really bothered me is that these two women, whose shit apparently doesn't stink, post openly in a place and welcome questions, and have a criteria set up on which ones, or who they answer for. I just wanted some conversation. I found some elsewhere. Those two never knew what they were missing.

Now that, to me, is funny :)


Hi, this is my first attempt at this whole blogging thing, so I figure with my first post here, I'll tell you a little about myself.

I'm a 32 year old guy who works in tech support. I don't have a girlfriend, and I think this is by no means of my own, but who knows.

I will be putting all of my rantings, thoughts, ideas and anything else my black little heart desires into this blog. I hope it is both a painful and enjoyable experience to you. Have fun >:)