Friday, March 31, 2006

Dear Big Oil...

Please keep raising the price of gas up on us all. I love when I go to spend twenty dollars for gas and not getting even a quarter tank of gas. I love having my pockets not weighing me down with all the extra cash you manage to get from me in a year.

I want you to keep on raising the price because we are all getting tired of paying exorbitant prices for your product. I want to feel justified when I hire someone to come and rape you the way you're raping the people of the world with your price gouging ways.

I want to hear the agony and the suffering you endure while it happens to you.

Keep on raising those prices so that I can feel justified in watching you get fucked the way you fuck everyone else. I'll bring the popcorn. Bastards.

Crazy For You

I feel as though I'm going to explode if I can't hold you. My arms wrapped around you is the only place I know peace. Touching you, I feel electricity crackling through me, and it makes us so much better. I miss your smell, the scent of that perfume you wear... so intoxicating. I miss the way your hair clings to my face and tries to stay with me when I hold you. I love the feel of your heartbeat against mine when we lay cheek to cheek. The way your lips feel when they touch mine is like fire, sparking even more passion in me than I originally thought possible.

I love the way that your body fits mine so perfectly. The look in your eyes every single time you look at me says more to me about how you feel than any string of words could possibly hope to convey. When I look into your eyes, it's like they are calling me to come closer, to give more of myself to you, more completely. The sound of your voice make my heart beat faster, and makes my body shake. It is like the sound of a thousand angels singing just for me.

I know I've said it a million times, but I Love You. With every fiber in my being, I feel this so strongly. I could say it a million more times, and it still wouldn't make a dent in being able to actually tell you how much I do.

I might be a little crazy. I think we all can be. But I like being crazy, if this is what it is supposed to feel like. I'll always be crazy for you.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Phrase Craze

As most of you know, I have wanted to show the origins and/or definitions of phrases I have never heard before, and I got to hear one today.

The Phrase is "Calling you on the carpet". So upon looking it up, I found this very interesting bit of information:

Called on the Carpet: To be held accountable for a mistake, offense, or a lie.

In military parlance, called on the carpet refers to having to present oneself to a superior officer, report at attention and receive a disciplining for some offense. Sometimes a defense is allowed, but often, the communication is quite simple, clear, and unidirectional, with the recipient being forced to stand at attention while the abuse takes place.

Although no longer true, there was a time when only the top officershad carpet in their offices. Hence the carpet referred to the office of a senior officer.

Now I have heard this phrase, I know what it means, and I may possibly have use for it one day :)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006



The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
Deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
Take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay, But instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant Neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Rules For 2006

Ya gotta love George Carlin. I like how his comedy is sarcastic and right on the mark. So, with that in mind, I present his list of new rules for 2006. :)

New Rule : Stop giving me that pop-up ad for There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man , they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop fucking with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for wedd ings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Monday, March 27, 2006

WoooHooo Part 2

Tonight when I went to work, I was feeling physically ill. I mean, I almost got sick twice on the way to work, and my head was pounding like somoene was playing the drums in my head. Fortunately, I took some Ibuprofen when I got into work and bided my time till the headache went away.

Then, my supervisor approaches me with a sheet of paper with 8 star stickers on it. I finally, after 7 months, have my customer compliment sheet. Each of the 8 stars represent a customer who has spoken to a supervisor and said nothing but good things about me.

I have been trying to get this paper since I got my first compliment, so I'm doing good now that I have it.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

A Little Information

Well, I'm sure this will definitely be an interesting topic tonight. I started thinking about it when I went to take my drug test today.

Let me start with a little background info about me. I have this thing about public restrooms. I can't go in them unless I am absolutely alone. If somoene walks in, I can't go. If I think somoene is going to walk in, I can't go. If someone is in the stall, and I'm standing at the urinal, I can't go.

I have to be completely and utterly alone in there....period.

I have went so long without going before that I was in physical pain from it, because I could not find a place to urinate in private.

I recently found that this condition is called Paruresis, and that it affects over 17 million Americans. I find this condition, even though I have not been diagnosed with it, to be very annoying at times. Upon further reading on the subject, I understand now how I got my case of it, and exactly where it came from.

Experts say that most people get it as children, either by being hurried or made fun of when they go to the restroom.

They also say that this is a social phobia, being defined as "a strong fear of embarassment or humiliation in a social setting and the fear one will judge one's performance."

I can completely relate to this, as I have been there many times in my early years. I now have a complex about the restroom that affects the way I am around people in a bathroom setting.

The only reason I decided to share all of this in the first place is because I went and had my drug test done today. Normally, this is a long and extinuatin process for both the lab techs and myself.
Today, it went a bit differently. I went in, filled out the usual forms, got called back, and went with no problems. Hopefully this means by knowing about it that maybe I can somehow do something about it.

And that's the end of this little information session. As the Greeks there you go.

Monday, March 20, 2006


I started working tech support again in August of 2005, but I have been through a temp service.

Tonight, I finally got asked to join the team at the real company. Once I have this completed, I can get all kinds of benefits, and finally get my own internet connection again.

I have been waiting for this for a long time. I'll end my blogging night on this happy post, and hopefully have more stories and news for you all sometime soon.

The Incredible Kroger Singers!

This weekend could have been very boring. My plan was to sleep really late on Saturday, then wake up and watch movies all day long. For the most part, this is what happened. Until I went to get my dinner

I decided I wanted to have Chinese for dinner, so I went out and went to my local Kroger store. Upon pulling into the parking lot, I saw a guy with a guitar and a guy singing near an open case. I didn't think anything of it until I got closer.

The guys were 2 kids who may have been 20, but maybe not. They were sitting there singing and playing when a woman came out and started yelling for them to leave. Turns out she was the manager, and apparently did not appreciate that these guys were playing for tips in front of her store.

She was yelling at those two to leave, and getting pretty red in the face doing it. I was laughing, I must admit. Then she said she was going to call the police. The singer then turned and started singing "why would you want to call the police....we're just singing". At this point, I bust out laughing just because of how seamlessly he blended his musical pleas with his original song.

I then walked into Krogers and got my food, and the kids were gone when I left.

Blogger.....What the Hell Man??!!??

Ok, before I blog about anything funny, I have to say I got severely pissed at the blogger website. I mean, on both Thursday and Friday, they were completely useless. I had been trying to get the Last Day of My Life blog out for 5 hours before it would finally publish. Then Friday, I couldn't blog at all because I couldn't connect to the site.

Anyhow, thanks for getting it all finally taken care of so I can blog again. Just thought you all might like to know that I was pissed about it, but we're cool now.

I Am Returned

Well, I got a lot of people talk to me about my last topic over the weekend, even some were hinting around wondering if there was something I wasn't telling them.

I want everyone to know that I am just fine. As far as I know, there isn't a thing wrong with me , with the exception of being a bit morbid from time to time, and being extremely in love all of the time.

I want to thank my little sister, who read the blog. She got a little emotional and asked, told me not to blog about such things anymore.

The reason I'm thanking her is because when she told me that, I could tell just how much she really does care about me. I can see that now.

Most times, I always thought she may have been nice to me out of pity, but I think I may have been wrong.

I also want to thank The Love of My Life for reminding me of how I really am, and what I really mean to everyone who has truly taken the time to know me.

Now, onto the other blogs...time to have some fun up in here.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The Last Day of My Life

For some reason, my morbid mind has wandered to the realm of the dead tonight, and I have a blog topic for the evening.

What happens if you were to die tomorrow, and you had a chance to say one thing to everyone you loved. I got to thinking about that, and I compiled a list and combined it, so here it is for you guys. My last words were I to die tomorrow.

Love of My Life, I love you with everything I have, and even in death that won't change. I have always told you I would walk to the heavens or through the fires of hell for you, and I meant it. I don't think anyone else in the entire world would do for you what I am willing to do. I Love you.You can always look to the heavens, or down below, and know I'll be thinking of you, and even still needing you. Mom, I'm sorry I wasn't a better son to you. I could have done better, but for reasons unknown to me, I didn't do better. I only hope that you can look back on me and smile at the good things I did manage to do, and be proud of the strong will you instilled in me. Steve, thanks for being the closest thing to a father I ever had. I know we didn't always get along, but that's the nature of men. No two Alpha Males in the same place. To my sisters, I'm sorry I wasn't a better brother to you. I know I wasn't exactly the role model you may have expected, and the issues within myself are no excuse for not being the way I should have been. I hope you both can also remember the good in me, and all the things I did do once I realized I could be better. To my nephews, I wish I could be there to see you grow up. I know I haven't been a good uncle at all. To the small amount of friends who remained true after everything we have all been through, I thank you and I know in my heart that you'll remember me with a great fondness. To everyone listed above, I love you all, and I will miss you dearly.

I have to admit, in writing this, I had to stop a few times, as I was starting to get tears in my eyes and was on the verge of letting the tears flow. I apologize that this blog topic is so morbid, but I do want the ones I care for the most in my life to know how I feel about them, and I think that's why I sometimes dwell on the death aspect...a chance to say one last thing to those I love.

Bless you all, and thanks for reading.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Life Ain't Always Beautiful

I heard of this song last week, and I really like it. Parts of it remind me of the Love of My Life, and how much I miss her. You all should take a listen, because it really is a good song.

Life Ain't Always Beautiful


Gary Allan

Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life aint always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time

No, life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

Life aint always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time

No, life aint always beautiful
But i know i'll be fine
Hey, life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

I'm Legal!!!

Wow....I would have never thought I would be driving legally. For the first time in almost 3 years, my tags are current, my license is new and correct, and...brace yourselves....I have insurance on my truck.

I think this calls for a celebration. Someone bring the party favors. :)

Friday, March 10, 2006

Blowing Smoke Up Your Ass

The title of this particular blog deals with one of my favorite phrases. The term sounds painful when you think of it. Why would anyone but a sadistic bastard blow smoke up someone's ass?

Furthermore, what kind of sick person would want smoke up their ass?

Looking into this term, I have found that to blow smoke up somoene's ass is to deceive them with words and compliments. Basically, saying something nice you don't mean.

The term blowing smoke originated from the smoke magicians used to use in their acts to conceal the "magic" part of magic so the audiences wouldn't catch on to the trick.

Yes, I know I am an over analytical mind, but sometimes it can be good and funny :)

Something New For the Blog

I have often heard someone say something that makes me start thinking about where it came from. Starting tonight, I will address and hopefully entertain people with the definitions or origins of these strange phrases. Tonight, I'll be starting with "Under the Bus"

I've often heard the Love of My Life say that someone threw her under the bus, or that she was going to throw me under the bus, and I wondered what that meant.

I looked it up, and upon further review, I've seen the definition to roughly be this:

to sacrifice some other person, usually one who is undeserving or at least vulnerable, to make personal gain.

I believe it is a term used to mean to sacrifice someone, be they deserving or not, but I also think it doesn't really have to involve personal gain.

I also believe that this phrase could be some sort of revision of "thrown to the wolves", as they both seem to have the same effect on those being thrown.

Why under the bus though? Would it do more damage being thrown under the bus than in front of it?

We may never know the answers to these complicated questions, but I will keep searching for answers to hopefully entertain most of you with, for as long as you'll read them.

She Don't Tell Me To

Here is yet another song that reminds me of The Love of My Life. It's a little song from Montgomery Gentry called "She Don't Tell Me To".

It makes me think of the reasons I am exactly why I am, and why I've dedicated myself to making her happy.

She Don't Tell Me To

Montgomery Gentry

Every now an' then, on my home,
I stop at a spot where the wild flowers grow, an' I pick a few,
'Cause she don't tell me to.
I go out with my boys all right,
But most of the time I call it a night before they do,
'Cause she don't tell me to.
Sunday mornin', I'm in church,
An' my butt an' my back an' necktie hurt, but I'm in the pew,
She don't tell me to.

Any other woman I know would have tried,
To control me and it would be over.
Blame it on my goin' on my own way attitude.
All of that stubborness melts away,
When I wake with her head on my shoulder,
An' I know I've got to love her,
Until my life is through,
'Cause she don't tell me to.

Well, I got demons and I've got pride,
But when I'm wrong, I apologize like she's mine to lose,
'Cause she don't tell me to.
Well, I got dreams in this heart of mine,
But nothin' that I wouldn't lay aside if she asked me to.
'Cause she don't tell me to.
An' she don't even know,
That she keeps me lookin' for the next right thing to do,
'Cause she don't tell me to.
Yeah, yeah.

Any other woman I know would have tried,
To control me and it would be over.
Blame it on my goin' on my own way attitude.
And all of that stubborness melts away,
When I wake with her head on my shoulder,
An' I know I've got to love her,
Until my life is through,
What else can I do?
What else can I do?
Whoa, I love her,
'Cause she don't tell me to.
She don't tell me to.

Every now an' then, on my home,
I stop at a spot where the wild flowers grow, an' I pick a few,
Yes I do.

Thanks so much for coming into my life and showing me there was so much more to what I had ever seen, and was comtemplating doing at that time. You inspired me to change....and you didn't tell me to.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Without You

Without you here by me, my body aches and my heart longs to be closer to you.
I would rather be deaf than to not hear your angelic voice.
If I never got to see you again, anything the world would show me would pale by comparison to your beauty.
The scent of your perfume is the most intoxicating thing I've ever smelled, but only if you're wearing it.

Everything I have, and everything I am, I can attribute to you and the way you completely changed my life forever.
You are an angel sent to me from above to show me how things "can" be.
I am truly a changed person because of you.

Without you, I am dead to the world, and without you, I would be dead already.

Your love has kept me alive, and I shall cherish it for the rest of my days.

Simply put, I Love You. I know you know this...I know you understand it more than anything I've ever been able to say or do.

I know you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the Love I have for you.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Death Tunnel

Well, I got the movie Death Tunnel, and here I will provide a bit of a review of it. If you don't want to know anything about this movie, DO NOT READ ANY FARTHER BELOW!

That being said, let's begin.

Death Tunnel is a move based "very loosely" on true events. Translation, the hospital does exist, some of the stories of the haunting have been told by many, and it is rumored to be haunted. Also, it is true that 5 girls tried to stay the night in the hospital, but I don't believe there were any deaths at that time.

This is a movie about 5 girls who are staying the night in the hospital as part of a sorority initiation. However, the story does seem to be a bit lacking. Basically, the story is uncovered in pieces, with flashbacks to fill in the missing parts of the story. Overall, as far as horror movies go, it really wasn't all that bad, but it did feel like it dragged along, and the ending made no sense to me at all.

Here are some of the high points from the movie that I liked. First, there was a really good song in there but I have yet to find out the title. Also, it was filmed at Waverly Hills...bonus points there. I also loved the first scene, where you see one of the girls get murdered by one of the others. Also, the female lead reminds me a lot of Heather Langenkamp of the Nightmare on Elm Street series.. I also loved a lot of the erie special effects of the movie too.

What I disliked is a longer list. I hated the fact that the girls were in lingerie. Why would anyone go to an abandoned hospital in their lingerie? Even though they explained how they came to be that way, it was still a distraction from the story. Also, one of the girls has a shower scene, and obviously, she at least gets topless. Once again, I can't understand why anyone would do this either, especially in the filth and grime in that place. Also, the girls were taken in and were locked in masks, which was cool, but the one who took the shower had a cigarette and lighter when she removed her mask.

Then the ending was just dumb. The main male and female leads escape from the hospital only to go back in and "look for the cure". What kind of stupidity is this? They closed these places down because the closest thing to a cure was found, so much so that they didn't need to be separated from the world anymore.

Anyhow, it is a movie that should be watched at least once. However, I'm thinking the documentary will be much, much better.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Indi's Chicken....Oh Yeah!!!

Ok...I know you're all gonna think I'm crazy, but screw KFC...well, except for their biscuits and mashed potatoes.

I have found a new love when it comes to fried chicken, and it goes by the name of Indi's.

They have the absolute best spicy chicken I have ever had, and even their mild chicken puts KFC to shame.

They offer a better variety of pieces, and they aren't anywhere near as expensive as KFC is either.

The best thing they have to offer though is their spicy potato wedges. These things will leave you feeling warm after eating a few.

Anyhow, that's my new food love. I highly suggest you try some :)

Tag...You're It!!!

I've been tagged, enjoy.

Here's the rules:

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they are any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

My songs of the moment are:

1. Must Be Doing Something Right - Billy Currington
2. Best I Ever Had - Gary Allan
3. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk - Trace Adkins
4. Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off - Joe Nichols
5. Amazed - Lonestar
6. Here Without You - 3 Doors Down
7. Miss Me Baby - Chris Cagle

Tag...You're It!

Just My Thoughts

I know I'm supposed to put 7, but I don't really have any more I can tag, so 3 it will be.

More Tech Support....AKA....WHAT!?!?!?

You all know I hardly blog about the work I do. However, this one is noteworthy.

I was taking my calls as usual, and I got a call, and from the start, I knew it wasn't gonna be good. The guy I was on the phone with was a Chinese guy, and spoke almost no English. Let me say now that I am not, nor do I approve of racism. We spent 45 minutes on the phone, and the only real information I had from him was his name and phone number pulled up so I could view his account. I knew next to nothing else because we had a severe language wall up between us.

He ended up accidentally hanging up on me, and I was praising everything holy that the call was over....or was it. Normally, we would call the person back, but at this time of night, it would be considered rude, so I didn't call back. I was just happy to be off of the call.

Well, I started talking with some of the other people I work with, and they were getting their calls, so I turned and started surfing the web while waiting for my next call. It came 20 minutes later.

I got the phone number, and account information, and was absolutely taken by surprise when I realized I was talking to Mr. Language Barrier again. Sigh.

After about another 45 minutes, we ended the call because he had bad hardware, and I had tried everything in my power to get him to understand what he needed to do in order to get it fixed. I really don't think he did understand, but by that time, I was finished. I was finished with the call, and finished with it all, so I let him go on.

It was really frustrating trying to talk to him at the time, but now I just laugh, because it's funny now, and I would have been laughing if it hadn't been me to begin with.

Getting the Eye

I just don't know what it was about me on Friday, but I must have been on fire.

Let me say that I'm not really ugly, but I'm not really good looking either. I definitely am not used to the behaviors I saw on Friday. Let me explain.

I got up and got ready to do the work thing extremely early in the day. My roommate and I were hungry, so she offered to buy some Indi's Chicken if I would go get it. I heartily agreed.

So I go to get the chicken, and when I get there, the girl behind the counter starts flirting with me....hard. She wasn't trying to hide the fact that she was digging me a little. I didn't think too much about it until I got to the pay window. I turned around, and there was a girl cleaning the restaurant, and she looked at me, then turned away while blushing and smiling. I turned back around and was waiting for my food, then turned around and saw her looking at me again, to which I received the same response....a blush and look away smile.

Keep in mind that I don't get this every day, so I was kinda shocked to see this happening to me.

However, I didn't lose my head. A lot of guys would start being a little more cocky, but I just went on normally, and I blame the extra attention on some sort of freak happening in only happens once in a great while, and maybe not ever