A Wonderful Life?

Those of you who are close to me know that one of my favorite Christmas movies is It's A Wonderful Life.

The thought of seeing the way others lives would have been had you not ever been born is a very interesting thing to me, and I think that every year, I wish I could see just a fraction of what would have been had I not been around to change things.

Point of this is that a person never knows how they affect the world around them, and they never get to really see that. It is my greatest Christmas wish every year to want to see this, because most times, I don't think that I have had any kind of influence on anyone elses lives at all. in other words, even if I was never born, everyone elses lives would be exactly the same as they are now.

I still continue to think that I really haven't had any kind of influence on the lives of others, but I have also been granted a bit of something else this year.

With my current living situation coming to an end, I have seen just how many people really care about me. I have been getting questions about what I'm going to do after I leave where I am, where I will go, and even some offers of places to stay.

I can't see the effect I have on the lives of others, but I have been shown that there are those who care, which is something I was starting to question. While it's not the greatest gift, and certainly not the one I really wanted, it'll do to hold me over until I start to feel uncared about and unloved again.

I want to thank everyone who has voiced their concern for me. I appreciate that you care for me, and that you took the time to at least ask what I was going to do. I appreciate the ones who offered places for me to stay even more.

As of this very moment, I am still unsure about what I'm going to do, and where I'm going to live, but I am seriously considering those offers that were made to me, and those people should know very soon what my decision will be.

Attack!!!

As many of you may know, I had been going out late nights to help a friend with her computer issues, and show her how to do things with the PC so she could make some of her Christmas presents for her friends.

This particular story starts on the first night I went there. It was very early in the morning, and I go there. Her cat greets me and starts doing things cats do to get attention. I like cats and dogs, so I do what any animal lover would normally do; I start petting it. As I'm petting the cat, he bites me...not hard or anything, but enough to let me know he wants to play. As I'm sitting there waiting for her PC to let me do something, I start playing with the cat, and I finally stop once the little bugger draws blood from my arm.

After that, I go home, but we're still not finished and I let her know I'll be back the next night, then I leave.

The next night arrives and I go there. I walk in the door and am taking off my jacket when I see a big gray streak fly across the floor and onto the couch. Then I feel a pain in my nipple and I look and realize that her playful cat has bitten me right on my nipple.

Naturally, I jump because I'm taken by surprise, and I may have even yelped a little. It appears that her cat saw me from the window, and remembered that I was playing with him the night before, and wanted to get a head start on the game, so he bit me.

My friend almost fell on the floor she was laughing so hard, and in the end, so was I. It truly was a funny moment, and I thought I would share it with you all.

Here's hoping that some of you got a laugh out of it like I did :)

WTF!?!?

Ok, before anyone reads this, a warning. If you are easily offended about certain topics, or by certain language, move along and skip this one, because I am pissed about what you are about to read, and I plan on sharing.

Now that that is taken care of....

What the fuck is going on with this country and this strong sweeping wave of political correctness?

I can understand some political correctness, but it's getting out of hand, and America is becoming a country full of pussies.

Let me explain.

I was at work the other night, and I was taking a call and helping someone get back online...you know...my job, what I do. At the end of the call, the caller wished me a Merry Christmas, and I said so in turn...you know, a formality. Just because I'm not feeling it in spirit doesn't mean I'm going to ruin it for somoene else.

Well, when I said it, one of the people I work with stood up with this look on his face and asked me not to say that again. He said he was offended because he had heard it and it was against his religion.

What the Fuck is this shit about???

I quickly had to school his ass on the basics. I told him that this holiday has been around a lot longer than his sorry ass ever had been. I told him that he didn't have to believe in it, but not to expect a time honored holiday tradition to change because his ears were to sensitive to ignore it.

Then I said Merry Christmas to him. I think I pissed him off....lol.

I think that the whole political correctness campaign is good overall, but I'm starting to see signs of people abusing it, and it makes me mad because once again, people are trying to censor me in their own ways, and I hate censorship in its entirety.

The holidays are time traditional, and should and will not, in my book, be changed because someone doesn't have the better sense to ignore it when they hear it.

To those people, I suggest that perhaps you cut off your own ears, or maybe stick something very sharp in them so you won't have to be offended by hearing those holiday greetings that have plagued you since birth. Maybe you should do the same for your eyes as well, and you won't have to see the festive holiday decorations that so distract you with their offensive natures of cheer and praise.

While you're at it....cut out your tongue too, that way, I don't have to listen to you bitch about something you don't have the right, nor good reason to change.

Oh, and to all believers and non believers....Happy Holidays to all :)

Christmas Spirit on Backorder

This just isn't my year for Christmas spirit. I'm just not feeling it like I normally do. I get a little bit here and there from watching a movie, hearing a song, and so forth, but nothing long lasting.

Could be because even during this time of supposed festivities, problems are mounting up for me more than ever. I try not to show it, but they are starting to eat away at my exterior, and I don't know how to solve them.

However, I'm hoping that perhaps next year I will have an overabundance of Christmas spirit, and that I can celebrate properly.

Maybe I can find a scalper and buy some Christmas spirit just in time for the holiday?

The New Disease

I am afflicted with a new disease. I don't need to see a doctor to confirm this, nor are any of my symptoms bad....I am just afflicted with it.

I have an insatiable desire to sing karaoke almost every night. It is an all consuming illness. As I acquire more karaoke CD's my list grows, and the disease kicks in even more.

As of tonight, I have to say that I really haven't had much to blog about...I've been busy at work, and then after work most nights, I get my karaoke fix, then go home and sleep.

I do have to say that singing isn't the same without my redneckgirl there for me to sing to, but it is still fun. Hopefully I'll be able to sing to her again soon....very soon.

The only way to cure the disease is to sing more, and sing more I will.

See you guys there....lol :)

The Chase!

Now this is truly a funny story. I have been having trouble with some of my bills, and I have been afraid that the finance company is going to come repo my truck if I'm late with a payment...which I was.

Sunday night I had left around 3:30 in the morning to do some late night grocery shopping, and I got back around 4 in the morning and I see a truck coming from my street, and he pulls onto the next street. Something about this makes my spider senses tingle, so I back out of my driveway, and go to the end of my street, and I see him going onto the third street.

It may have been that he was driving slow, or that he looked suspicious, so I started to follow him. I pulled onto the second street as he was driving down the third, and turned around at the end. I went back the way I came only to see him turning to leave the trailer park.

He sees me, then slows down, and stops for about 20 seconds, then he tries to speed away. Naturally I find this behavior suspicious, so I start following him again, out of the trailer park. He is speeding down the Greenbelt with me hot on his heels, and he just keeps going.

We get further down to Cane Run and he pulls into the Thorntons station there, and I follow. He gets out of his truck and walks up to me, asking what the hell I was doing following him.

I got out of my truck and explained he looked suspicious roaming around the trailer park like he was, and I decided to see what he was up to. At this point, he started to laugh, and I asked him what was so damn funny.

It was then that he told me he was the paper delivery person.

The Weekend

This weekend was sort of eventful for me...at least the nights were. I have been going to the karaoke bar after work most nights to get my sing on, and joke around with some of the cool people up there.

I went Saturday night, and it felt different to me for certain reasons, and I did get a little down during those times, but the people there wouldn't let me stay down for long :)

I got to sing more last night than I ever did in one night before, and it was cool. I tried some new songs, and some different types of songs. I sang (don't laugh now) "Once Bitten Twice Shy", and I think I did pretty good at it.

I have been neglecting the blog just a little bit due to training new people at work, and going to the karaoke bar, and just not knowing what I want to say. Hopefully this will change soon...the not knowing what I want to say :)

Anyhow, for those who care, this was my weekend, and now I'm getting ready to deliver some stuff to my mom and then maybe go pick up a few bucks worth of groceries so I can have some food for the week.

To everyone who reads this....take care of yourself, and feel free to get in touch with me anytime to talk, say hi, or whatever.

Gone But Not Forgotten

I heard this song today, and it strikes a sad note in me. The reason is because I know too many women who feel exactly this way with their lives, and every single one feels as though she can't change it.

It makes me sad because these women deserve much better. I think they may think they don't deserve better, but I know that each one does. Each of these ladies is as amazing as they come, and you couldn't ask for a better person to talk to, or to just joke around and hang out with. They are the type of women that light up a room just by walking through the door. And they have to put up with dumbass guys who don't appreciate what they have.

Disclaimer: I do have certain women in mind with this, and I will not name names so as to protect the innocent. Also, there really is more than one woman I'm speaking of here, including the one I love most.

With all that said, here are the lyrics to the song that has struck a sad note in my heart. This goes to those women, and countless others who have experienced this situation. Bless you all for putting up with the bullshit for as long as you have.


"Gone but Not Forgotten"

Her birthday came and went without a card,
Or a single I love you
On their anniversary she sat all alone
At a table set for two
She tries her best to please him,
But she never hears one single word of praise
She feels just like a stranger,
In a home where love has seen its better days

Well he's taken her for granted
God only knows why she keeps hangin' on
'Cause it's better to be gone, but not forgotten
Than to be forgotten, but not gone

Somehow he can't remember,
When he's late to even take the time to call
And even on the nights he's there
She gets the feeling he's not there at all
She's become a prisoner
In that big old house where sweet love used to be
Well, it's not even over
But Lord she feels just like a memory

Well he's taken her for granted
God only knows why she keeps hangin' on
'Cause it's better to be gone, but not forgotten
Than to be forgotten, but not gone

'Cause it's better to be gone, but not forgotten
Gone, but not forgotten
Than to be forgotten, but not gone

MIGRAINES!!!!!

I swear, I hate a migraine to death. I do think that I have found part of the cause of some of my migraines though....lack of caffeine, like in my sodas.

When I gave up sodas for the short period of time I did, I got the worst migraines I've ever had, and I think it was because I didn't have that caffeine in it to keep me clear.

I think another part of it can be attributed to my sleeping patterns, but that was way messed up before they started.

Maybe I should have the doctors scan my cat and see if there really is something wrong with me?

I'm Still Standing

The last few days have been kind of weird for me. First and foremost, I have been looking way into what people are saying to me, and I realize I need to lighten up a bit. Second, I've been suffering from a cold and a migraine since Friday, and I still have the cold, but the migraine finally went away today. I'm happy for that...I hate almost week long migraines.

Also, my work called this morning and told me I was only getting paid for 8 hours. I was on the phone a lot going back and forth trying to find out where the mistake was made....I'm gonna get my money....lol.

Then, my mother let me know I have until the beginning of January to get a roommate or get out of the trailer. Looks like living in the truck is gonna be the option I'll be going with. She has offered to let me move back in the house with her until I get back on my feet, but I'm going to decline that, only because I think that maybe living in the truck will be the thing that actually makes me find my way, and lets me get out of debt enough to actually try to get back on my feet.

I can't say I'm not scared, because I am, but I'm starting to think more and more every day that it will help me in some way, although I'm not sure how. Besides, I don't want to have to depend on her anymore...I've done that enough.

I think what I'll probably do is to try and pay my truck off as soon as possible if this happens, which I could probably swing 3 payments a month. That should take roughly around 5 months to get taken care of. Then I can look into renting another trailer, or whatever I need to get living arrangements again. First thing I'll do though is get a cell phone and make sure I have a contact number for those who mean the most to me. That is imperative...I cannot, and will not give up my communications with the ones I love most.

I have a strong feeling that through all of this, I will prevail. At least I hope I will.