Alice the Goon
So I always go to this little redneck bar to sing karaoke. I go there 5 times a week, and take 2 days off. I know some of you might think I'm an alcoholic or something, but I don't drink.
I have to tell you about the bar because there is someone there who drives me insane, and I'm going to tell you all about her exploits.
I call her Alice the Goon. If you used to watch the old Popeye cartoon, then you've seen her. This particular Alice doesn't look like the one in the cartoon, but that's not always a good thing.
I'll start by saying ahe likes me...I'm guessing she likes me a lot. I don't like her like that. Everyone who knows me knows my heart belongs to someone already, and has for an incredible amount of time.
Her exploits begin last Tuesday. She's there when I get there, and as soon as I hit the door, she's on me like velcro. She likes to hang on me, and I try to ignore her, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I think, however, that if she keep it up, I'll have no other choice.
So she's hanging all over me, and wanting to dance to every song. Things like that. Keep in mind that this is the first night of a long week of her.
Wednesday, she's there again, and as usual, as soon as I hit the door, she's on me again. Thursday, she tries to grab and start holding my hand, but I tell her no. She keeps trying to get me to put my arm around her, and I say no to that too. I did get a break for about an hour when she disappeared out to the parking lot with someone. When she returned, she had a certain smell on her, but I won't go into all that. Near the end of the night, she starts flashing the DJ and myself, and at that point, I look for something sharp to use to gouge my eyes out. Then she's on me until she leaves again.
Friday, as soon as I get there, she's asks me if she could talk to me outside, and when we get outside, she tries to kiss me. I tell her no once again, and walk back inside the bar.
It's clearly obvious at this point that she isn't taking the hint. On New Years Eve, I had her friend talk to her, and she has backed off a little. Let's hope this lasts. I don't want to be mean to her, but I'm sick of her not getting the point yet.
That is the tale of Alice the Goon.
I have to tell you about the bar because there is someone there who drives me insane, and I'm going to tell you all about her exploits.
I call her Alice the Goon. If you used to watch the old Popeye cartoon, then you've seen her. This particular Alice doesn't look like the one in the cartoon, but that's not always a good thing.
I'll start by saying ahe likes me...I'm guessing she likes me a lot. I don't like her like that. Everyone who knows me knows my heart belongs to someone already, and has for an incredible amount of time.
Her exploits begin last Tuesday. She's there when I get there, and as soon as I hit the door, she's on me like velcro. She likes to hang on me, and I try to ignore her, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I think, however, that if she keep it up, I'll have no other choice.
So she's hanging all over me, and wanting to dance to every song. Things like that. Keep in mind that this is the first night of a long week of her.
Wednesday, she's there again, and as usual, as soon as I hit the door, she's on me again. Thursday, she tries to grab and start holding my hand, but I tell her no. She keeps trying to get me to put my arm around her, and I say no to that too. I did get a break for about an hour when she disappeared out to the parking lot with someone. When she returned, she had a certain smell on her, but I won't go into all that. Near the end of the night, she starts flashing the DJ and myself, and at that point, I look for something sharp to use to gouge my eyes out. Then she's on me until she leaves again.
Friday, as soon as I get there, she's asks me if she could talk to me outside, and when we get outside, she tries to kiss me. I tell her no once again, and walk back inside the bar.
It's clearly obvious at this point that she isn't taking the hint. On New Years Eve, I had her friend talk to her, and she has backed off a little. Let's hope this lasts. I don't want to be mean to her, but I'm sick of her not getting the point yet.
That is the tale of Alice the Goon.
posted by mindtwister at 6:07 PM
6 Comments:
all i can say is LMMFAO........hee hee!!!
LMAO.. I think you are being very nice. You did forget to mention the flash New Years eve as well. Oh and the fact she lets creepy old guy play with her nipples on the dance floor. Yipes!!! and YUCK!!! I have a lot of respect of you and your patience. Keep it up my friend.
redneckgirl, I knew you'd get a kick out of it...lol.
hard2stop...please don't remind me....my eyes are still burning from the first time ;)
LMAO that was to funny Alice the goon. I thought Redneck girl and I were sopposed to be taking her shopping? WHat the hell happend to that. Poor Jim. I think you just need to tell her straight up in a nice way. YOur nice but look IM not interested in you that way. If that doesnt work then just be dick. I mean your a man after all. I know its a little harder of a reach for you then most. But I have faith in you ; you can do it.
I have tried every nice thing I know to show her I am not interested. I really don't want to have to put on my asshole cap, but the time is coming close for that. She's gonna get the message one way or another.
Actually she has been dressing a lot better (at least the last few times i've seen her) but i think it's to impress a certain someone....lol.
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