Nursery Rhymes Are Evil!

I like to read into things a little bit too much sometimes. Ask Redneckgirl...she knows ;)

I've sat listening to her read nursery rhymes to her children on the phone, and I have devised that these things are just plain evil!

Here are some examples, followed of course by my very colorless commentary.

Tom, Tom, the piper's son,
Stole a pig, and away did run!
The pig was eat,
And Tom was beat,
And Tom went crying
Down the street.

Ok, this here advocated shoplifting and child abuse. Wouldn't there have been a more suitable way for Tom to be punished? Perhaps the Scared Straight program? I know it worked for me!


Three blind mice,
See how they run!
They all ran after a farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife.
Did you ever see such a sight in your life,
As three blind mice?

Does anyone else see the senselessness of this one? The mice are blind for crying out loud! They have to eat too! And what's with this farmers wife and her dual personality. First they are running after her, which, to me, would indicate she was scared and perhaps running. Then suddenly she gets her hands on a knife and becomes Freddy Krueger?!? And just how were the mice targeting their attack at the farmers wife? They are blind, so they can't see her. This one is just plain wrong on so many levels. I believe it could be an assassination attempt against the mice by the government because maybe they found out some things they shouldn't have known. I believe the "farmers wife" to be an assassin and working a covert operation to hush the mice up....permanently!


There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth,
Without any bread,
Whipped them all soundly, and sent them to bed.


Ok, so the woman has problems. She lives in a shoe and has many children. I can also tell they are very poor by the food they consumed. I understand all this, but there is no need to take that out on all those children! What could those children have done to be whipped after dinner and sent to bed? Nothing! The old woman is taking her disdain for the life she lives out on those poor kids. Child abuse galore!!!



Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her.
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her, very well.



This one is disturbing. Peter here couldn't keep his wife from fooling around, so he decided to take her hostage and keep her locked up. Was the wife a little more than promiscuous, or was Peter just a bad man? I happen to think Peter was a bad man. I mean, come on, who keeps their spouse in a pumpkin shell? The last line is disturbing because it makes me think that the wife was never found, and never got free. How did Peter explain her absence to others? She went to the store and never returned? I guess we'll never know.


Hush-a-bye, baby,
in the tree top.
When the wind blows,
the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby,
cradle and all.



OK, this is one of the most messed up ones I've ever seen. First off, who in their right mind would put a baby in a treetop? Second, the baby is probably scared out of its little mind being that high up and in an unfamiliar place, so hell yeah its gonna cry. Then, the baby falls out of the tree, possibly killing it instantly! Poor baby!



I suppose that's all for now, although I've seen a lot that could be classified as strange or just completely psychotic.

Moral of the story is that even though they sound all cutesy and stuff, nursery rhymes advocate evil, and should not be spoken to children for fear that the children may become those people in the rhymes.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some mice to carve up ;)