Tale of the Poison Cake
Here is yet another incident I've had with cakes. I will warn you that it is kind of gross, and that I wasn't really sure what I was thinking when I was doing this, but the story must be told.
I now leave you with the tale of the poison cake.
This takes place during a time when I was really, really broke, and always really, really hungry. About all I had in the cabinets was a German Chocolate cake mix, and it really wasn't even mine...it was my moms.
I had all the ingredients lying on the counter to make a spectacular cake. I put the water and oil in a bowl, and then started adding the eggs. Mistake number one. The eggs I was using had expired the summer before, and were pretty old. I noticed something was amiss when I cracked the first one into the bowl, and tried to break the yolk, but it wouldn't break. I was able to scrape that one out of the bowl and tried every one of the rest of the eggs with the same effect. The last egg I decided to use brute force on to break up the yolk as much as I could.
I get it mixed in, so it was time for the mix. I open the box with the mix in it, and pull out the bag of cake mix, only to see a web inside the bag. This was no small web either. It practically took up the entire space that the air in the bag was occupying. How a spider ever survived in there I'll never know.
I open the bag, and remove the cobwebs, then pour the cake mix in with the rest of the ingredients. I mix it all and pour it into the cake pan.
I bake it for the appropriate amount of time, and take it out. It "looked" amazing. It was soft and fluffy like a good cake should be, but the smell was off. I really can't describe the way it smelled, but it wasn't really pleasant, but it wasn't foul either. I let it sit on the counter, and the more I looked at it, the more hesitant I was about eating it. It cooled down, and a funny thing started to happen. It got hard. I'm not talking about the way a cake usually cools down and starts to gain consistency, but it physically hardened. By the next day, I had a brick instead of a cake.
I decided at this point that I was definitely not going to eat the cake, and I threw it away.
I don't think I'm going to use old ingredients anymore, as this one was an experience.
Maybe you all think I should stop cooking altogether?
I now leave you with the tale of the poison cake.
This takes place during a time when I was really, really broke, and always really, really hungry. About all I had in the cabinets was a German Chocolate cake mix, and it really wasn't even mine...it was my moms.
I had all the ingredients lying on the counter to make a spectacular cake. I put the water and oil in a bowl, and then started adding the eggs. Mistake number one. The eggs I was using had expired the summer before, and were pretty old. I noticed something was amiss when I cracked the first one into the bowl, and tried to break the yolk, but it wouldn't break. I was able to scrape that one out of the bowl and tried every one of the rest of the eggs with the same effect. The last egg I decided to use brute force on to break up the yolk as much as I could.
I get it mixed in, so it was time for the mix. I open the box with the mix in it, and pull out the bag of cake mix, only to see a web inside the bag. This was no small web either. It practically took up the entire space that the air in the bag was occupying. How a spider ever survived in there I'll never know.
I open the bag, and remove the cobwebs, then pour the cake mix in with the rest of the ingredients. I mix it all and pour it into the cake pan.
I bake it for the appropriate amount of time, and take it out. It "looked" amazing. It was soft and fluffy like a good cake should be, but the smell was off. I really can't describe the way it smelled, but it wasn't really pleasant, but it wasn't foul either. I let it sit on the counter, and the more I looked at it, the more hesitant I was about eating it. It cooled down, and a funny thing started to happen. It got hard. I'm not talking about the way a cake usually cools down and starts to gain consistency, but it physically hardened. By the next day, I had a brick instead of a cake.
I decided at this point that I was definitely not going to eat the cake, and I threw it away.
I don't think I'm going to use old ingredients anymore, as this one was an experience.
Maybe you all think I should stop cooking altogether?
posted by mindtwister at 1:22 AM
4 Comments:
ROFL! Yes, please stop...before you do serious damage to you, a loved one, or the oven.
FYI: If you have to forceably break an egg yolk - not a good sign.
No, I don't think you should stop cooking all together, but maybe you should lay off the baked goods..lol. Betty Crocker you are not my friend, but you may be Emeril, who knows. I'll let you fix me dinner then I'll tell you
that was so long ago.....I had forgotten about this....lol...you tried to serve me that brick of a cake the next day.....were you trying to get rid of me? LMAO
mk99....lol...thanks for the advice....I'm happy to know that there are some who are in favor of me "not" cooking....lmao!
h2s....I think I'd be like the Crypt Keeper Emerill.....add some spiders....BAM!!!
redneckgirl....you know I would never, ever, ever get rid of you....I really don't know why I tried to serve you and Cin the cake....hell, I still don't even know why I baked it to begin with....lol.
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